2 Timothy 1: 7

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God does not give you a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

This scripture has been one of my favorites for many reasons, but God has given me a new perspective on this scripture more recently. I’ve known that fear and timidity was not from God. I mostly focused on the fear part. There was a period of time where I didn’t sleep much for a month and this scripture rang true in my head every night as I anxiously tried to go to bed. It was fear that had gripped me. 
Now in my life, I’ve closed a chapter of my life and the page has turned to a new chapter. I was hired at a job that for awhile I thought was impossible to obtain because there were no positions open. God orchestrated the impossible to become possible for me. I now have a job as a Recovery Counselor and I work with women that have substance abuse issues and mostly heart and sin issues. I am expected to share the gospel and the love of Jesus Christ. How awesome is that! I interned at this place for a year and now I get to be apart of staff. It’s familiar but new, all at the same time. 

My old insecurities and my shy self has been creeping in, which I’m well aware that happens especially when I’m in a new job or new situation. It’s like my ‘old’ self was creeping back in and taking over. The timid and fearful girl I used to be.. 

The word timidity popped out at me with this scripture. There have been several situations this week where I’ve been more timid (like my old self). I don’t think I really realized it until mid week. At that point I started praying for God’s strength to not revert back but stand firm.He answers prayers. God answering my prayers showed me that He doesn’t give me a spirit of timidity but that’s something the devil tries to use against me. God gives me His power . 

Recently, i’ve been anxious again about going to sleep  again and it’s due to me not dealing with some issues in my life. God woke me up one morning at 2am to deal with this issue. Fear had entrapped me, again. As I cry out to God and write down everything I’m going through, His peace overwhelmed me and calmed the storm that was brewing in my soul.

My roommates and I do devotions every morning.. there was one this week that talked about worrying is infidelity because we are not trusting God fully with our lives. That hit me like a ton of bricks. All the anxiousness, worry, and adjustments I’ve been going through have been me not trusting God in the situations I’ve been in. ouch.

God is so good to teach me these lessons to learn to trust Him more in everything in life, not just the areas I pick and choose. He exposes the darkness in my life and fill me up with peace and joy that is unexplainable. He exposes the cause of fear and timidity and shows me how to live in His spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. 

 

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